Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her vagine was all disorganized.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
