my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
