My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
