he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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