are you so shy because you have an std?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
