i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize