Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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