Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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