About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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