either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
