All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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