I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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