What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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