So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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