Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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