Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
