they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
