I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
