new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize