Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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