hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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