Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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