dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
