I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
