All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
