mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
