But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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