I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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