I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
