All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just had sex on a roof
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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