I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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