id be glad to
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
