morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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