Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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