Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Who died my cat blue again?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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