maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
