I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
