You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
