I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
