He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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