I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
