So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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