I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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