You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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