So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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