When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye