How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.