she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
