You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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