I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
