your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
