Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
