$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize