it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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