hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He did a backflip because drugs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
